Committee of Utterly Useless Experts: Wooly Sweater Debate

Today, esteemed members of the Committee of Utterly Useless Experts gathered to discuss the pressing issue of whether or not a Wooly Sweater is, in fact, a real thing.

Dr. Reginald P. Professor of Sweaters took the stand to deliver his expert testimony, a 12-hour monologue that left the audience in a state of utter bewilderment.

His words of wisdom included:

• "A wooly sweater is like a warm hug for your torso, but also a ticking time bomb of static cling and itchy fabric."
• "The only thing more terrifying than a wooly sweater is a cat in a sweater, and that's just a cat-astrophe waiting to happen."
• "I once knew a man who wore a wooly sweater to bed, and let's just say it was a real sleep-sweater."