The subcommittee for the Privileged is thrilled to present this revolutionary new initiative: a gym where you can literally do nothing while still feeling productive.
No more tedious treadmills, no more soul-crushing burpees. Our zero-gravity gym will have you lounging on a cloud, sipping a latte, and feeling just as accomplished as if you'd just finished a grueling marathon.
The benefits are numerous:
- No risk of injury, as you won't actually have to do any physical activity
- No risk of boredom, as you'll be surrounded by the soothing hum of the gravitational stabilizers
- No risk of social awkwardness, as everyone will be too busy floating around like a bunch of idiots to talk to each other
But wait, there's more! Our state-of-the-art zero-gravity gym will also feature:
- A complimentary supply of oxygen, so you don't have to worry about running out and suffocating
- A selection of gourmet space snacks, because you're worth it
- A special "I'm-a-priviledged-and-I-know-it" membership badge, so you can show off to your friends and family
Don't just dream it, join it. Apply now to be one of the select few who will experience the thrill of doing nothing in zero-gravity!
Or, if you'd rather not, you can always read about it in the press.