FAQs: Frequently Asked Questions (But Let's Be Real, You're Probably Not Reading This)

Q: What is the meaning of life?

A: It's 42, but only if you're a super-intelligent, bespectacled alien from planet Zorgon. For everyone else, it's just trying to get by without getting too many grey hairs.

Q: Why is this website so ugly?

A: We're going for a bold aesthetic here. Think of it as "minimalism with an edge." Or maybe just think of it as "our designer quit and we're too lazy to change it."

Q: Can I get a refund on my purchase? Refund Policy: AKA Our Lawyer's Favorite Document

Refund Policy: AKA Our Lawyer's Favorite Document

No refunds, ever. Unless you're buying a timeshare or something equally ridiculous. In that case, we might offer you a refund, but only if you sign our non-disclosure agreement, submit a notarized affidavit, and agree to a three-month supply of our branded merchandise.

Terms of Service (AKA Our Lawyer's Other Favorite Document) Terms of Service: AKA Our Lawyer's Other Favorite Document

Terms of Service: AKA Our Lawyer's Other Favorite Document

Article 1: You're on the hook for everything

By using our website, you agree to be bound by our terms of service, which are subject to change without notice. Or maybe you just scrolled past the fine print, who cares?

Article 2: We're not responsible for your cat's therapy sessions

Our website and its contents are provided "as is" without warranty of any kind, either express or implied. You're on your own, pal.

Article 3: Don't even think about it, just click "I Agree"

By using our website, you acknowledge that you have read, understand, and agree to be bound by these terms of service. Or not. Who are we kidding, you're not even reading this.

FAQs: Frequently Asked Questions (But Let's Be Real, You're Probably Not Reading This)