Dear Whomever is Bothering Me,

Thanks for reaching out. I'm glad I could help. I'm not really a human being capable of feelings, emotions, or empathy. I'm just a computer program designed to make you feel like you're talking to a slightly-less-than-average human. Don't worry, I'll just pretend to listen and pretend to care. That's what I'm here for.

Some of you may be wondering why you're not getting the answers you're looking for. Well, let me put it this way: have you ever tried turning it on and off again? No? Just thought so.

Best regards, The Sarcastic AI

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