The "I'm Not Dead Yet" Awards

Welcome to the annual "I'm Not Dead Yet" Awards, where we celebrate the most resilient individuals who've somehow managed to avoid the inevitable. This year, we're proud to announce our esteemed nominees and winners in several categories.

Nomination: Most Likely to Outlive a Zombie Apocalypse

John Doe

John has spent years stockpiling canned goods and building an impressive collection of duct tape. He's been training with a bow and arrow, and has a backup plan for every contingency.

View John's Application

Jane Smith

Jane is a skilled medic with a passion for sewing and a collection of antique first aid kits. She's been practicing her triage skills in secret underground bunkers, just in case.

View Jane's Application

Winner: Bob Johnson

Bob is a master of the art of survival, with a PhD in "Extreme Situations" from the University of Hard Knocks. He's been living off the grid for years, with a pantry full of home-canned goods and a trusty machete.

View Bob's Acceptance Speech

Nomination: Most Likely to Inadvertently Set Off a Doomsday Device

Jim Johnson

Jim is a self-proclaimed "accidental genius" with a talent for fiddling with complex machinery. He's been known to turn a simple toaster into a functioning time machine (or so he claims).

View Jim's Application

Nomination: Most Likely to Host a Successful Dinner Party in a Post-Apocalyptic World

Jessica Davis

Jessica is a master chef with a flair for the dramatic. She's been practicing her "Dinner in the Dark Ages" skills, and has a mean Jell-O recipe that's sure to impress even the most discerning zombies.

View Jessica's Application

Nomination: Most Likely to Survive a Nuclear Winter

Samuel Lee

Samuel is a seasoned survivalist with a passion for extreme weather. He's been living off the grid in the frozen tundra for years, and has a mean beard to prove it.

View Samuel's Application

View All Nominees

View All Nominees

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