We're in the midst of a crisis, folks. The cookie crumbles, but our resolve doesn't.
The cookie jar is empty, the cookie tin is bare, and we're forced to face the horror of an empty snack cabinet.
Hyperbole aside, it's time to get real about the cookie shortage.
**Cookie Crisis Hotline:** 1-800-CRUMBLE
Or, if you're feeling particularly desperate, try: 1-800-CRISIS