Chaos Peanuts: The Cookie of Doom

Warning: This Cookie May Cause Chaos

A recipe for the most unpredictable and anarchic cookie the world has ever seen.

Step 1: Gather Ingredients

1 cup chaos, 1/2 cup despair, 1/4 cup madness.

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Step 2: Mix and Mingle

Combine ingredients in a cauldron of doom, stir clockwise for 13 minutes while reciting an ancient incantation.

Mix with more madness

Step 3: Bake with Fervor

Insert cookie into oven of chaos, set to 900 degrees Kelvin. Bake for precisely 7 hours while performing the chicken dance.

Bake with more fervor

Side effects may include: spontaneous combustion, temporary loss of sanity, and/or the sudden urge to reevaluate life choices.

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