Today, I woke up and decided to reorganize the world according to the dictates of my stomach. I rearranged my kitchen to optimize for maximum snack accessibility.
Also, I wrote a 300-page thesis on the societal implications of breakfast cereal as a viable food source.
Read more about my gastronomic revolution: Jan 2nd, 2024
Today, I spent 8 hours arguing with my toaster about the meaning of life. It still hasn't stopped working.
Also, I discovered the secret to making the perfect grilled cheese sandwich using only my tears and a can of spray cheese.
Read more about my existential crisis: Jan 3rd, 2024
Today, I declared myself the Supreme Leader of the Free World, but my cat disagreed and ate the scroll.
Also, I wrote 50 pages of poetry about the futility of human existence.
Read more about my ascension: Jan 4th, 2024
Today, I reorganized the alphabet to prioritize words that sound like my name.
Also, I spent 12 hours playing a never-ending game of solitaire.
Read more about my linguistic coup: Jan 5th, 2024
Today, I discovered the lost city of Atlantis, but it was just a really nice antique shop in the suburbs.
Also, I wrote a 10,000-page novel in 24 hours using only words that start with the letter 'Q'.
Read more about my underwater adventure: Jan 6th, 2024