We, the undersigned, hereby declare our independence from the bland, in the year of our Lord two thousand and twenty-five.

That all men are created equal, and that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of First Amendments.

We, the people, are the government, and that the power of government emanates from the consent of the governed, not from the whims of Second-hand coffee shops.

We, therefore, the People of the Bland Republic, in General Congress, Assembled, do, in the Name, and by the Authority of the good People of this, their, and their Posterity, adopt and ordain this Declaration of Independence from the Bland.

Signers: