By the Deputy of Denizens and Decisions, a report so thorough and definitive, it's a wonder anyone survived.
After months of exhaustive research and countless meetings, we present to you: The Avocado Standings of 1982.
It's a report so comprehensive, so authoritative, so utterly devoid of avocado puns, that you'll be green with envy.
Read on for Avocado Trends or explore the Avocado Fails.
And for the love of all that's good and holy, don't even ask about the Avocado Hoaxes.
A special thank you to our sponsor, the Avocado Consortium, for their generous support and endless supply of avocados.
We hope you found this report informative and mildly entertaining. If you did, send us some feedback.
Otherwise, disregard this page entirely.