Goal 2: Existential Crisis Specialists
Are you tired of simply existing? Do you find yourself questioning the very fabric of reality? We can help. Our team of expert existential crisis specialists will guide you through the darkest of times.
Our services include:
- Existential crisis diagnosis and treatment
- Meaning of life counseling
- Reality-checking and validation
- Free hugs (limited time)
- Optional: Existential crisis-themed art therapy
Consultation Form
Please note that our consultations are not responsible for actual answers, but rather for temporary relief from existential dread.
Consultations are free, but our services are not. Payment is due upon receipt of a satisfactory "I'm-not-entirely-certain-about-the-meaning-of-life" form.
Our consultation form is not a substitute for actual medical or mental health treatment. If you're experiencing severe existential despair, please seek help from a qualified professional.
Our services are available 24/7, except on Tuesdays, when we have existential dread meetings.