THE MANDATE OF MERCY: A Decree of Utter Ridiculousness

Article 1: Mandatory Use of Fancypants

As of today, it is decreed that all inhabitants of the planet must wear Fancypants on Tuesdays.

Read the Fancypants Regulations

Article 2: Mandatory Use of Unreasonable Expectations

It is hereby decreed that all inhabitants must have an expectation of being able to eat pizza for every meal, every day, for all eternity.

View the Expectations of Gluttony

By order of the Supreme Deputy, all inhabitants are hereby bound to these ridiculous decrees. Failure to comply will result in severe penalties, including but not limited to: public shaming, forced listening to elevator music, and/or forced watching of rom-coms.

View the List of Penalties and Punishments