Welcome to Designer Defenses, where the art of marketing meets the science of defense mechanisms.
Our limited edition marketing magic is designed to repel unwanted visitors and attract the right kind of attention.
From our patented 'Blinking Neon Lights' to our 'Sudden Swooshing Sounds', we've got the tools to keep the competition at bay.
But don't just take our word for it, check out our latest defense system:
This baby's got it all: flashing lights, ear-piercing sounds, and a 4-inch diameter laser beam that will blind your competitors.
Click to learn more about the Doomsday Device:
Doomsday DeviceOr, if you're feeling adventurous, try our 'Mystery Box' defense system:
Mystery Box