Defense 101 - Limited Edition Marketing Tricks

Chapter 1: The Art of Being Interesting

Marketing is war. And like all wars, it's about winning. But how do you win at marketing? By being interesting. You see, the problem is, people are boring. They're just so... being-interesting. But you, on the other hand, are not. You're a ninja. A ninja with a briefcase.

Chapter 2: The Power of Being Loud

Loudness is key. You need to be heard above the noise. Like, literally above. Because, let's be real, who needs a roof when you can just have a giant, flashing sign that says "Buy me!"? Learn more.

Chapter 3: The Art of Being Fake

Faking it till you make it, baby! Because who needs authenticity when you can just fake it? I mean, who's got time for that? Just slap on a pair of shades, and you're basically a real person. Be a pro.

And that's not all, folks! Stay tuned for more defense strategies, because, let's be real, someone's got to pay the bills.

Next chapter: Defense 102