Welcome, friend! You've stumbled upon our little corner of the internet where we ponder the intricacies of moral dilemmas and calculate the exact amount of sympathy you should extend to those around you.
Our team of experts (okay, our cat, Larry, and a calculator) have crafted these formulas to help you navigate the complex world of human emotions:
When dealing with the devil himself, we recommend:
1. Multiply the number of horns by the number of times you've heard him play the harmonica.
2. Add the number of times you've seen him wearing a "I'm with Stupid" t-shirt.
3. Divide the result by the number of times you've seen him getting away with it.
Result: Sympathy level (SL) = (Horns × Harmonica) + (T-shirt × Getting Away) / (Number of times you've seen him getting away with it)
Example: If the devil has 3 horns, has played the harmonica 5 times, has worn an "I'm with Stupid" t-shirt 4 times, and has gotten away with it 10 times, your Sympathy Level would be:
SL = (3 × 5) + (4 × 10) / 10 = 15 + 40 / 10 = 55 / 10 = 5.5
So, you should extend approximately 5.5 units of sympathy to the devil!
Want to try another formula? Click here for our Jealousy Calculator.
Or, if you're feeling particularly adventurous, try Compassion Calculations: Advanced for some truly existential conundrums.
Or, if you're just here for the cat pictures, click here.