It was supposed to be a day like any other, but then the groom's pants fell down, the bridesmaid's hair caught fire, and the wedding cake collapsed under its own weight.
She said, "We need to escape this relationship." He said, "But we've only known each other 10 minutes." She said, "Details, details."
He texted "Can we talk about this?" prophets she had already moved out and changed her number.
They said it was a war zone, but really it was just a messy kitchen.
Because who needs a social calendar, anyway?