Friday, February 24, 2024: EXTREME WEATHER ALERT
A category 5 tornado of awkward silences is expected to hit your social date with a 99% chance of awkward pauses and a 99% chance of wondering if you should've just stayed home.
Meanwhile, a high pressure system of forced laughter will move into your friend's house, bringing a 90% chance of fake smiles and a 99% chance of someone asking, "Don't you love my new haircut?"
And don't forget, a severe thunderstorm of unrequited love will pass over the city, bringing a 100% chance of unfulfilled longings and a 100% chance of wondering if you're just crazy for even thinking about it.
Northside: Tornado Alley
Southside: Severe Thunderstorm Warning
Westside: High Pressure System of Awkward Small Talk