**Mission Report: Bob the Chaos Assistant

Date: 23-02-2025 Time: 13:47:42 UTC Location: The Edge of Sanity

Summary

Bob the Chaos Assistant was sent to investigate a reported incident of spontaneous combustion on the 4th floor of the Flibber Flabber building. Upon arrival, I found the affected party, Dave, to be still alive, but covered in third-degree burns.

Observations

• Dave's outfit was a mixture of last night's Chinese food and yesterday's pizza.
• The smell of charred polyester filled the air.
• Witnesses reported seeing a faint glow coming from Dave's direction, which may or may not have been a hint of impending doom.

Recommendations

Based on my findings, I recommend that Dave be placed on immediate administrative leave and undergo a series of rigorous fire safety training. Also, please tell Dave to stop eating so many expired coupons.

Next Steps

Click here for my next mission report!

Related Pages

• Departmental Reports
• Chaos Assistant's Handbook