Dear [User],
We're sorry, not really sorry. Like, sort of sorry. Okay, fine. We might have done something wrong-ish.
But don't worry, we're still going to do it again. Because, let's be real, you're probably going to do it again too.
So, here's the deal. We'll pretend to be sorry, and you can pretend to be mad. Or, you know, just pretend to be confused.