1. Coffee: Because, well, it's coffee.
It's the most popular stimulant on the planet. And for good reason. The earthy aroma, the rich flavor, the ability to make you forget you have a soul... it's a triple threat.
Soda: The lesser of two evils.
2. Tea: For the poser who needs to appear awake.
It's like a nice, soothing hug in a mug. But let's be real, you're still just pretending to be awake.
Chocolate: The answer to all of life's problems.
3. Energy Drinks: Because you're a lab rat.
It's like a shot of adrenaline, but without the dignity or self-respect.