Are you tired of productivity and accomplishment? Do you yearn for the thrill of the hunt, the rush of the find, and the crushing despair of bankruptcy due to unchecked spending?
Recognize that you're a slave to the allure of fine china, rare coins, and vintage typewriters. Acknowledge that you've spent entire afternoons in estate sales, antique shops, and online marketplaces, only to return home with nothing but a stack of dusty boxes and a lighter wallet.
Allow yourself to become an expert in the history of, well, everything. Spend hours poring over dusty tomes and yellowed scrolls, marveling at the craftsmanship of bygone eras, and wondering how anyone could ever return such treasures to the world.
As you delve deeper into the depths of the past, you'll find that your to-do list has shrunk, and your credit card statements have grown.
"But, I mean, think of the sentimental value! I'm investing in memories, really. I'm preserving history!"
And so, you convince yourself to spend that extra $500 on the 'antique' vase, not just because it's a beautiful piece, but because it'll serve as a reminder of the countless hours you spent agonizing over its purchase.
As you perfect the art of justifying the expense, you'll find that your procrastination has become a thing of beauty, a symphony of excuses, and a masterpiece of mental gymnastics.
Awarded to those who have mastered the art of justifying the expense:
Join the ranks of the procrastination elite, where the art of justifying the expense is revered as a national pastime.
Or, you know, just go ahead and buy that vase already.