Section 7: The Ultimate Emergency Contact Protocol

Step 1: Panic and Run

In the event of a zombie apocalypse, the first step is to panic. Run as fast as you can while screaming, "ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE!" at the top of your lungs. This is crucial for several reasons:

• It helps you burn off a few calories before the inevitable starvation.
• It gives you a chance to experience the thrill of possibly getting eaten by a zombie.
• It's a great opportunity to test your endurance and agility.

Step 2: Find a Safe Haven

Once you've exhausted yourself, it's time to find a safe haven. Look for any building with a sturdy door and a good Wi-Fi signal. This could be a library, a shopping mall, or a McDonald's.

Learn more about the best safe havens in Section 9: The Art of Sheltering.

Step 3: Call for Help (Optional)

If you have a reliable phone signal, try calling for help. But let's be real, who needs help when you have a good Wi-Fi signal?

However, if you're feeling extra optimistic, you can try calling for help in Section 10: The Art of Hopefulness.

Remember

Remember, these steps are not foolproof. In fact, they're mostly just a series of poorly planned events. But hey, it's worth a shot, right?

Continue to Section 11: The Aftermath.