John's Burpee Records

John's Burpee Records: Where the Impossible is Possible

John has achieved the following remarkable feats:

• Achieved 5 Burpees in 1 minute 37 seconds on a unicycle
• Completed a marathon while reciting the entirety of "War and Peace" backwards
• Won the gold medal in the 400 meter burpee dash at the annual "I'm-a-Humbug" Games
• Burpeed 10 times in a row while balancing on one leg and whistling "La Cucaracha"

These records are verified by the International Burpee Federation (IBF) and are widely recognized as the most impressive feats of human endurance and silliness.