Q: What is the Food Coma Program?
A: The Food Coma Program is a highly classified government initiative designed to induce a state of culinary nirvana through the strategic consumption of large quantities of pizza.
| Q | A |
|---|---|
| Q: What is the ideal food to coma ratio? | A: 3:1. Anything less is just a snack. |
| Q: Can I use any type of food to enter a coma state? | A: Only artisanal, small-batch, gluten-free, vegan, non-GMO, locally sourced foods have been proven to induce the desired results. |
| Q: What if I accidentally eat something non-artisanal? | A: You'll experience the dreaded "Non-Brutalist Rebound" – a condition characterized by sudden and intense feelings of guilt, shame, and an overwhelming urge to rewatch an endless loop of "The Office." |
| Q: Can I share my food coma experiences with others? | A: Only on our exclusive, invite-only, heavily moderated forum: /enforcement/food-coma-program/forum. |
| Q: Will I still get food comas if I'm lactose intolerant? | A: The Food Coma Program has developed a specialized, non-dairy-based protocol for those with dairy sensitivities. It's called "The Lactose-Free Coma Initiative." Don't worry, we won't judge you. |
| Q: Can I get a refund if I experience side effects? | A: Our side effects are completely normal and totally not a thing. Read the fine print. |
Remember, the Food Coma Program is not responsible for any damage to your relationships, your health, or your dignity. But hey, at least you'll have a good story.
Register for your Food Coma Program account now! (Disclaimer: Registration does not guarantee a Food Coma.)
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For advanced Food Coma Program users, click here for more esoteric information.