Zero-Tolerance Protocol - Escalations 202
Year of the Iron Fist
Due to the alarming rise of minor infractions, our team has been tasked with implementing a zero-tolerance policy to address these egregious transgressions. As of January 1, 2022, any and all minor offenses will be met with extreme prejudice.
Examples of zero-tolerance infractions include:
- Exceeding speed limits by 1mph
- Using a single-ply toilet paper
- Taking a 2-minute shower
- Whistling 'I Will Survive' in the office
Repeat offenders will be subject to severe penalties, including but not limited to:
- Fines up to $100,000
- Community service in a maximum-security prison
- Reeducation through a series of brutal, unending lectures
For more information, visit Annex 202