1. Don't touch anything that's on fire. Unless it's a toaster, in which case, follow the Burning Toaster Protocol.
2. Maintain a 10-foot perimeter around the coffee machine. This will give you plenty of time to evacuate in case it spontaneously combusts.
3. Erect a firewall around all sensitive information. Preferably made of fireproof materials, like asbestos or really thick aluminum foil.
4. Conduct regular fire drills with your coworkers. This will ensure everyone knows exactly where the exits are, and that they're not actually exits at all, but just cleverly disguised closets.
5. Never, ever, EVER use a fire extinguisher as a makeshift microphone. Trust us on this one.
6. Have a plan for emergency evacuations. Involving a secret underground bunker, preferably stocked with snacks.
7. Conduct a thorough inspection for fire hazards. Including, but not limited to: loose papers, frayed cords, and that one coworker who's always wearing a 'I'm with Stupid' t-shirt.