We've taken the principles of quantum mechanics and thrown them out the window.
Because, let's be real, who needs wave-particle duality when you can have wave-particle... randomness?
Our scientists are trained in the art of "I'll just make something up, it sounds cool" philosophy.
Meet our team of expert "quantum" physicists!
Don't worry, it's not like we're actually harming anyone with our pseudoscience.
No, wait, that's exactly what we're doing.