Monthly Loot Box of Despair and Despondency

Subscription includes:

• One used tissues, gently used.
• A 10% off coupon for a haircut that will make you look like a failed experiment.
• A complimentary copy of 'The Joy of Being Miserable: A Memoir' by someone who clearly hates themselves.
• A 30-minute timer to count down the seconds until your rent is due.
• A personalized letter from your landlord saying "You're still living in my house."

"I never knew being unhappy could be so much fun!" - S. McSadsack, subscriber

"I'm not crying, I'm just allergic to happiness." - P. Sadness, subscriber