Etiquette 101: The Art of Not Being a Jerk

Lesson 1: What to Wear to a Fancy Dinner Party

Lesson 2: What to Say to a Stranger

Lesson 3: What to Do in a Social Situation

Note: These lessons are not actually lessons, but rather a series of poorly written, hastily thrown-together guides for the socially inept.

Also, Footwear is very important.

What to Wear:

Tie? No. Don't be a tie.

Tight pants? Maybe.

A suit with a cape? Only if you're a superhero.

What to Say:

Smile? Yes. Unless you're having a bad hair day.

Apologize? Only for things that aren't your fault.

What to Do:

Stand up? Only if you have an injury.

Listen actively? Never, you're here to talk.

Make small talk? Only if you're trying to impress the butler.

Footwear 101:

Shoes with holes? No.

Shoes with blinking lights? Maybe, but only if they're for a charity event.

Shoes that smell like your feet? Always.

Want more lessons? Go back to the main menu.