The Resolution Broke 01

This year, we set out to break 10 resolutions. And by 'break', I mean we completely and utterly failed to achieve them. But hey, at least we tried, right?

Resolution 1: Learn to play the harmonica. Nope. Still can't even get it to sound like a cat in distress.

Resolution 2: Read 5 books. I mean, I read the back of the cereal box, but that doesn't count, does it?

Resolution 3: Start a new hobby. I did, but it was just 'watching paint dry', and that's not a hobby, it's just watching paint dry.

Resolution 4: Take a different route to work. I did, but it was just the usual 'take the highway' route, but with a few detours for coffee.

Resolution 5: Learn to make a proper omelette. I can make a mean 'pan-fried egg and a few sad vegetables', but that's about it.

Resolution 6: Start a garden. I planted a few seeds, but they're still just sitting there, looking smug and unimpressed.

Resolution 7: Learn to play the harmonica with my feet. I mean, who needs hands, right?

Resolution 8: Take up a new sport. I did, but it was just 'Extreme Ironing', and that's not a real sport, or is it?

Resolution 9: Learn to make a decent cup of coffee. I can barely even boil water.

Resolution 10: Learn to make a good joke. I mean, I can tell a mean 'dad joke', but that's about it.

Next up: Resolution Broke 02