March 17, 2024: A day of unrelenting optimism and existential dread.
Scientists at the Institute of Unlikely Events have announced the successful creation of a quantum leap capable of transporting matter across vast distances, but not before they realized it was actually just a really long staircase.
Also in the news: the recent discovery of a parallel universe where the coffee machine always works, and the rise of a new form of entertainment: Extreme Ironing.