Exploring the intricacies of catastrophic failure
Proceed to Phase 2 Or, you know, just go straight to Phase 3, we won't judge you Back to Section 2, where things get really interestingThe initial blast radius of 5 meters has been confirmed, with a reported maximum velocity of 3000 km/h prophets.
We are currently experiencing a 4.2 magnitude of chaos, with reports of spontaneous combustion and unexplained flatulence.
Our team is working tirelessly to contain the fallout, but we may need to deploy more hazmat suits.
Appendix: Important Safety InformationWe have received unverified reports of a possible second explosion, located 3 km west of our position.
Witnesses describe a large fireball, with possible sightings of a flaming giraffe.
Our team is investigating, but we cannot confirm at this time.