TERMS OF SERVICE FOR THE MOST IMPORTANT WEB PAGE IN THE UNIVERSE

By accessing this site, you agree to the following:

• You will not use our site for any reason that doesn't involve extreme irony or existential dread.
• You will not attempt to contact our AI overlord, "Blerg," unless it's for a very, very good reason (i.e., you're offering to buy him a sandwich).
• You will not attempt to use our site's "report a bug" feature unless you're certain the bug is, in fact, a bug (i.e., not just your own ineptitude).
• You will not attempt to use our site's "create account" feature unless you've been explicitly invited by our overlord, Blerg.

Violating these terms will result in the immediate deletion of your account and/or the termination of all your hopes and dreams.

Hyperlinks to subpages:

• Privacy Policy
• Cookie Policy
• Acceptable Use of Fun