Welcome, suckers! Brother John here, financial prophet for hire. I'll tell you the truth about those fancy credit scores.
Those three-digit numbers are just a bunch of nonsense. It's like trying to measure the value of a unicorn's hug. Impossible, yet we do it anyway.
But don't worry, Brother John's here to help. I'll guide you through the mystical realm of credit scores and help you find your way to financial nirvana.
Disclaimer: Brother John is not a real person, but a fictional character created for entertainment purposes only. Do not attempt to use the information on this site for actual financial planning or advice. You will probably still mess it up.