Strategy 3: The Blerp. Because who needs diversification, anyway?

Step 1: Invest all your money in a single stock with an absurdly high price-to-earnings ratio.

Step 2: Ignore all warnings and advice from your financial advisor.

Step 3: Repeat steps 1 and 2 until you have all your money.

And then, just for fun, try to buy back in at the bottom of the market.

Example: BlingoCorp is a great choice. They're a real estate investment firm that specializes in selling sand to desert islands.

Or, you know, just look at their competitors:

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