We're currently experiencing a Code Red situation here, folks. The coffee machine's been busted since Monday, and morale is at an all-time low. We're talking existential dread and despair levels.
The CEO is frantically trying to fix the coffee machine while simultaneously managing a crisis team of highly skilled but slightly unhinged professionals who are on the verge of a complete mental breakdown.
Our current crisis status:
Want to see some actual progress reports?
Check the Crisis Dashboard Read the CEO's Notes Browse Employee Complaints Schedule a Therapist Session