Disclaimer:

By visiting this website, you acknowledge that you're aware that your hamster may be neglected, overfed, and generally treated like a tiny, furry little dictator. Don't say we didn't warn you.

By clicking the link below, you're essentially signing a contract in hamster blood (which we're pretty sure is a thing).

I Have No Idea What I'm Getting Myself Into

Hamster Contract:

Section 1: I, the hamster owner, agree to provide my hamster with:

A wheel that's only slightly smaller than my car tire
A cage that's 90% larger than its previous cage, but still not large enough for a hamster to live in peace
Food that's 99% pellets, 1% mystery meat

Section 2: I, the hamster owner, agree to do the following:

Not watch Netflix for more than 4 hours a day
Not play video games for more than 2 hours a day
Not check social media for more than 1 hour a day

Read Clause 1: The Wheel of Despair Read Clause 2: The Cage of Confusion