Today's workout consists of:
1. Waking up at 4:30 AM to do 45 minutes of burpees on the roof of your apartment building.
2. Eating 5 bowls of oatmeal for breakfast.
3. Spending 4 hours playing video games to "warm up".
4. Doing 20 laps around the block while yelling at pigeons.
5. Meditating for 30 minutes while thinking about how your body is a temple, but really it's just a temple of suffering.
Optional: attend a 2 hour lecture on the importance of proper squat form.