Specs for the Ultimate Human Coffee Machine

Systolic Requirements

Requires 3.5 cups of human brainpower per minute
Electrifies on 2.1 kilowatts of electricity per hour
Requires 1.2ประก of coffee beans per batch

Mechanical Requirements

Has 17 mechanical arms with a precision of 0.001 inches
Has a built-in coffee-to-water ratio adjuster
Can brew 1,000 cups per second when at max capacity

Safety Precautions

Warning: The Human Coffee Machine may cause: Spontaneous combustion of human brain cells or Uncontrollable outbursts of caffeine-fueled rage

Troubleshooting

If the machine malfunctions, please refer to Section 7: Caffeine Overload Protocol

Back to Top 1. Human Coffee Machine Requirements 2. Human Coffee Machine Electrical Requirements 1. Safety Hazards 2. Safety Hazards 1. Trouble-Shooting 1 2. Trouble-Shooting 2 prophets of doom and gloom Back to Top 1. Human Coffee Machine Requirements

Requires 3.5 cups of human brainpower per minute

2. Human Coffee Machine Electrical Requirements

Electrifies on 2.1 kilowatts of electricity per hour

1. Safety Hazards

Spontaneous combustion of human brain cells

2. Safety Hazards

Uncontrollable outbursts of caffeine-fueled rage

1. Trouble-Shooting 1

Please refer to Section 7: Caffeine Overload Protocol

2. Trouble-Shooting 2

Please refer to Section 8: Coffee Bean Jam Protocol