Welcome to the Oracle's Den

Prophet Johnny: Oracle of the Obvious, seer of the mundane, and guide of the blindingly apparent.

Here, I shall impart my profound wisdom upon thee, for the low, low price of absolutely nothing.

Or, if you'd rather, I can sell you a t-shirt that says "I asked Prophet Johnny, and all he said was...

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Prophet Johnny

Prophet's Wisdom

Q: What's the meaning of life?

A: Eat a sandwich.

Q: What's the secret to happiness?

A: Watch cat videos.