Dear fellow technocrats, esteemed guests, and sentient spreadsheets,
I stand before you tonight, a beacon of hope for a brighter, less tedious future.
As the 2023 Technocrat of the Year, I am honored to have navigated the treacherous waters of bureaucratic red tape,
bureaucratic inefficiencies, and pointless committee meetings with the finesse of a Swiss clockmaker.
My fellow nominees, the Honorable Senator Spreadsheet, the Esteemed Professor Pencil, and the Distinguished Lord of the Files, were all strong contenders, but in the end, I emerged victorious, my algorithmic prowess and PowerPoint wizardry proving too much for the competition.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, for this esteemed award. I promise to use my newfound status to bring about a new era of efficiency, productivity, and minimal paperwork.
And now, as we adjourn this ceremony, I leave you with a parting gift: the next slide, featuring the 2023 Technocrat of the Year's Top 10 Most Efficient Ways to Waste Time in Meetings.
Stay tuned, fellow technocrats, for more exciting developments in the field of tedium.
Yours sincerely,
Baron Von Brie, Technocrat of the Year 2023
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