LAST RESORT OPTIONS: The Utterly Inconvenient Truth

When all other options have failed, and you're left with nothing but desperation, consider these:

• 1. Sell your kidney to a shady character in a dimly lit alley
• 2. Beg for scraps on the street
• 3. Call a telemarketer to complain about your life
• 4. Write a strongly worded letter to your elected officials, but don't send it

Remember, these options come with no warranties, expressed or implied. Use at your own risk!