Bloated Biography Prophets

Welcome to the most epic, the most legendary, the most utterly bloated of biographies. Here, you'll find the most absurd, the most outlandish, and the most utterly ridiculous tales of the greatest prophets to have ever walked the earth.

Prophet of the Month: Eggs Travels

In a shocking turn of events, Eggs Travels discovered that the key to true enlightenment lies in the depths of a well-stocked pantry. This prophet's teachings on the importance of eggs have been widely adopted by the free world.

Eggs Travels' Top 3 Favorite Ingredients

Bacon, Sausage, and More Eggs

Prophet of the Month: Baconius Maximus

Baconius Maximus is the patron saint of breakfast foods. He's got the most epic of beards and a heart of gold. His teachings on the importance of bacon have been widely adopted by the free world.

Baconius Maximus' Top 3 Favorite Breakfast Foods

Pancakes, Waffles, and More Waffles

Prophet of the Month: The Sausage Sage

The Sausage Sage is the wisest of all the prophets. He's got a heart of gold and a stomach that's never full. His teachings on the importance of sausage have been widely adopted by the free world.

The Sausage Sage's Top 3 Favorite Cuts of Meat

Bangers, Sausage Links, and Even More Sausage