LAST WILL OF THE INNER CIRCLE

INSTRUCTIONS:

Upon my passing, my vast fortune shall be divided equally amongst the following heirs:
My beloved, yet slightly bewildered, children.
My siblings, who shall be forced to live in the basement for eternity.
My trusty, yet judgmental, canine companion, Fido.

EXECUTOR'S NOTES:

Do not, under any circumstances, let my wife near the kitchen, lest you wish to incur her wrath.
Do not, under any circumstances, let my husband near the garage, lest he wishes to reorganize everything.

LAST WISH:

Donate all your possessions to the Inner Circle's Museum of Overpriced Art

I demand that my funeral be held on a Friday, so that everyone can attend and pretend to be sad for only 4 hours before going back to work on the weekend.