Our Objectives
We are a group of highly trained individuals with a passion for the absurd. Our objectives are:
- 1. To create a world where the phrase "I'm not a morning person" is a valid excuse for everything.
- 2. To establish a global network of coffee shops that serve only artisanal, small-batch, organic, gluten-free, vegan, soy-free, lactose-free, cruelty-free, and/or locally-sourced coffee.
- 3. To develop a new form of government that is 90% bureaucracy and 10% actually doing stuff.
Submissions
We are currently accepting applications for:
- 1. Mission Specialist: Must have experience in at least 2 of the above objectives.
- 2. Chief Procrastination Officer: Must be able to turn anything into a 10-year project.
- 3. Head of Coffee Acquisition: Must have a reliable source for rare, exotic coffee beans.