Statistics: Because Who Doesn't Love Numbers?

Here are some totally-not-made-up stats about our server:

Server Uptime: 99.99% Cached Pages: 0 (we're not caching anything)
99.99% of requests are from users trying to find the secret password 1.01% are actual users (we're not sure what they're doing here)
View Uptime Graphs (or not) View Request Breakdown Meet the Management Team (if you're into that sort of thing)