Our admissions committee is notoriously picky. Like, seriously picky. If you don't get in, you'll be left with the crushing realization that you're not as special as you thought you were. But don't worry, there's always community college.
What Happens If You Still Don't Get In (the sequel)
Alternative Reasons We Didn't Let You In
Our admissions office is located in a dumpster behind a Taco Bell. If you want to discuss your rejection, send a strongly-worded letter and a small gift certificate for our vending machine.
Don't try to bribe us, we're watching you. Or, at least, we're pretending to be.
Best of luck, I guess.