HR BONUSES
Bonuses - Because Who Needs Health Benefits?
Our Bonuses Are Designed to Make You Feel Like a Millionaire (or at Least a High-Strung Executive)
We're not just talking about your run-of-the-mill, standard-issue 3% match. No, sir. We're talking about bonuses that make you feel like a boss.
Our bonus system is designed to incentivize you to do more of what we want you to do, but also to subtly manipulate you into doing what we want you to do, but also to make it look like you're doing it for your own free will.
Here's how it works:
- Meet your quarterly sales targets: 10,000 bonus bucks
- Get a bonus for being the office DJ: 2,000 bonus bucks
- Get a bonus for being the office DJ during happy hour: 5,000 bonus bucks
- Get a bonus for eating the most Cheetos in the break room: 1,000 bonus bucks
And, of course, our bonus system is completely fair and not at all rigged to favor the top performers (i.e., the CEO's nephew).
Want to see how our top performers are doing? Check out our leaderboard!
Or, if you're just here for the free Cheetos: Cheetos Bonuses