**TIP 1**: To get the best out of your feline companion, remember that cats are secretly training you for an eventual coup d'etat. Be prepared to surrender.
**TIP 2**: Felines have a sixth sense for finding the one thing in the house you really didn't want them to find. Be prepared to sacrifice an entire shelf.
**TIP 3**: Cats are naturally drawn to the smell of despair. Wear a pleasant perfume to mask the scent of your impending doom.