Penalty Notice #1: The Great Pizza Topping Debacle of 2023

To: All Pizza Lovers of the World

From: The Council of Culinary Justice

Subject: Exorbitant Cheese Usage in the Name of "Artistry"

Dear valued customer,

We have been made aware of your egregious overindulgence in the use of cheese on your pizza. While we understand that a sprinkle of parmesan can be a beautiful thing, your recent topping of the month - 17 layers of mozzarella, cheddar, feta, and gouda - has been deemed an affront to the very fabric of our culinary society.

As such, we are issuing a penalty notice to you, effective immediately. Please find below the terms of your punishment:

• You are hereby required to take an online course on "The Art of Balanced Toppings" within 30 days.
• You are forbidden from using any cheese topping with a "g" in its name for a period of 6 months.
• You are required to donate 10% of your pizza budget to the "Save Our Cheese" foundation.

Failure to comply with these terms will result in further penalties, up to and including but not limited to: loss of pizza privileges, forced viewing of an endless loop of elevator music, and/or forced attendance at a never-ending meeting of the Culinary Ethics Committee.

Sincerely,

The Council of Culinary Justice

View Penalty Notice #2: The Great Sauce Scandal